I wanted to share a little bit into the process of being a celebrant, but also in creating your marriage ceremony, and of course, your marriage.
The thing is, your marriage matters, your marriage ceremony matters, and I put all of my heart, mind, body, and soul into it. I believe that the two of you merely existing is a beautiful miracle – it’s a one in 400 trillion chance that you are even here. Then if you make it through to adulthood and you’re single, and actively looking for someone who you don’t hate, that’s a daily 1 in 562 chance of meeting someone.
For the two of you to be standing in a marriage ceremony is a miracle. Something worth celebrating.
Here’s where things get interesting. I’m not the first person to believe that your marriage – and your marriage ceremony – matters. You obviously do as well because you’re reading this. Now it’s about aligning worldviews.
Some celebrants think it should happen certain ways, and maybe they’ve been influenced by church or pop culture. But me, I believe that your ceremony should be like this:
- Real – I don’t want to imitate posh people, or fancy people on your wedding day. I think it should be honest and real. Some weddings can seem like something out of a movie, which seems lovely, but movies are fake and only enjoyed in the cinema. Being on a movie or TV set can actually be quite shocking, because to look that good, there’s a lot of compromises – mainly to do with money and how you’ll have less of it in the end.
- Fun – Fun and funny are two different things. Fun means we’re light hearted and enjoying the ceremony. Funny means I’m telling jokes. I’m fun, not funny. If you want a comedian to MC your marriage ceremony, I’m not your guy.
- Happy – I know that we’ll experience all the feelings in your ceremony, but the most important one is joy.
- Feel-good – I’m a firm believer that most people won’t remember everything I say, but they’ll remember how they feel, and I hope they feel good.
- True – The words we say in your ceremony, I think they should sound like words you say in the rest of your life. So if you speak in Shakespearean prose over breakfast then let’s drop those rhymes in your ceremony. Otherwise, let your vows, and my ceremony, sound like normal life, if not a little more prepared and slightly more formal.
- Organic – I see so much wedding “stuff” being forced down all of our throats. It’s weird and awkward. I’d encourage you to implement some structure and planning into your wedding, but not to a point where it’s “forced fun” where no-one’s actually having fun. Make a plan for the two of you to have an amazing day, and everyone else will follow.
I really do believe your marriage, and your marriage ceremony matters, and if it’s not going to be the best day ever, let’s call the whole thing off.